people, what to do with their life and how to live it. And younger people have to listen. That’s how it
Here is what I've come up with to make your four (or five) years less murder-y, less hangover-y and
generally more awesome.
- I know someone gave you a cookbook for graduation with a 1,001 ways to make Ramen. Ramen will never be anything other than Ramen. Go buy some lettuce once in a while. Your insides will thank you.
- The seedy hotel room you are planning on renting for spring break is disgusting. That place has seen things…things that can never be unseen. Grab 3 more people (for an even 47 … you know you were going to cram your entire dorm floor in that room) and spring for a place that won’t require you to testify in a murder trial.
- If you’re in a city that has public transportation know the time those services cut off for the night (if they do) and stash enough cash someplace safe (and your best friend’s back pocket is NOT it) in case you find yourself stuck.
- Everyone swears by their own hang-over cure concoction and you’ll find what works for you. It will generally consist of grease, water, pain reliever and more grease. Something magical happens when you ingest grease at 4:00 am.
- At the end of four years (or five for some of us) you’ll need to get a thing called a job. In order to get a job, you’ll need references (and your grandparents don’t count). I highly recommend getting to know your professors and not just the ones from senior year, spring semester.
- If you don’t know the material by 2:00 am, you’re never going to know the material. Go to bed.
Money is probably going to be tight. So here are a few things that are worthy investments:
A taxi any time after dark or when your roommate decides to go home with the hillbilly not wearing a shirt from the bar.
Pizza any time after drinking. (Also see McDonald’s, Taco Bell)
The one pair of jeans that will make your butt look exceptional as you walk into your History class. Late. For the hundredth time.
Enough beer to share with a friend. (I hear drinking alone is frowned upon. Apparently.)
Not So Worthy Investments:
A free shirt that says “Go Bucks” with a fancy Visa logo on the back is not reason enough to sign up for a credit card. 15 minutes will literally haunt you for life.
Anything with the words “tube” and “top”. Just don’t.
The time spent worrying about that guy/girl that didn’t call you back. Or the time spent worrying about the guy/girl that did call you back. Enjoy being single.
The 75 pairs of additional jeans that make you look dumpy, pudgy or lumpy.
Ok, let's hear it…what do YOU wish someone would have told you before you headed off to college?