Thursday, May 31, 2012

College Tips: Ramen Is Not Your Friend

    It’s graduation season and this is the time of the year when people get to tell other people, younger         
    people, what to do with their life and how to live it.   And younger people have to listen.  That’s how it  
    works, right?   

     Here is what I've come up with to make your four (or five) years less murder-y, less hangover-y and       
     generally more awesome. 

  • I know someone gave you a cookbook for graduation with a 1,001 ways to make Ramen.  Ramen will never be anything other than Ramen.  Go buy some lettuce once in a while.  Your insides will thank you.  

  • The seedy hotel room you are planning on renting for spring break is disgusting.  That place has seen things…things that can never be unseen.   Grab 3 more people (for an even 47 … you know you were going to cram your entire dorm floor in that room) and spring for a place that won’t require you to testify in a murder trial.  

  • If you’re in a city that has public transportation know the time those services cut off for the night (if they do) and stash enough cash someplace safe (and your best friend’s back pocket is NOT it) in case you find yourself stuck.   

  • Everyone swears by their own hang-over cure concoction and you’ll find what works for you.  It will generally consist of grease, water, pain reliever and more grease. Something magical happens when you ingest grease at 4:00 am.   

  • At the end of four years (or five for some of us) you’ll need to get a thing called a job.  In order to get a job, you’ll need references (and your grandparents don’t count).   I highly recommend getting to know your professors and not just the ones from senior year, spring semester. 

  • If you don’t know the material by 2:00 am, you’re never going to know the material. Go to bed.

Money is probably going to be tight.  So here are a few things that are worthy investments:
A taxi any time after dark or when your roommate decides to go home with the hillbilly not wearing a shirt from the bar.
Pizza any time after drinking.  (Also see McDonald’s, Taco Bell)
The one pair of jeans that will make your butt look exceptional as you walk into your History class.  Late.  For the hundredth time. 
Enough beer to share with a friend.  (I hear drinking alone is frowned upon.  Apparently.)
Not So Worthy Investments: 
A free shirt that says “Go Bucks”  with a fancy Visa logo on the back is not reason enough to sign up for a credit card.  15 minutes will literally haunt you for life.
Anything with the words “tube” and “top”.  Just don’t.
The time spent worrying about that guy/girl that didn’t call you back.  Or the time spent worrying about the guy/girl that did call you back.   Enjoy being single.
The 75 pairs of additional jeans that make you look dumpy, pudgy or lumpy.

Ok, let's hear it…what do YOU wish someone would have told you before you headed off to college? 


Morgan said...

There are several things I wish someone would've told me before I went to college. However, at the risk of making people fall asleep, I've narrowed my insights down to a couple of the big ones.

1. Appreciate it. College is only four years of your life, and whether you believe it or not, they will go by lightning fast. So get everything you possibly can out of those four years. Explore everything, experience everything, enjoy everything. Be open to every opportunity that comes your way, even if that means doing things that are scary or uncomfortable for you.

2. Go out with your friends every chance you get. My best college friend and I remark that if we'd only known in college that we'd go without seeing each other for two years after we graduated, we would've made more of an effort to hang out when we could.

3. Be a little selfish. You will never be as free as you are right now. You get out in the real world and you're suddenly tied down by a career, some bills, a significant other, a pet, and eventually your kids. So do yourself a favor and spend a little time living for you. Do what you want, when you want. Stay up way too late, then sleep the day away. Go out and play beach volleyball instead of doing your laundry. Spend a whole weekend in your pajamas. Jump in the car with your friends and take an impromptu road trip.

4. Absorb all the knowledge you possibly can. Obviously, you're in college to learn. But you'll leave college and realize that the most important lessons you took away from it didn't come from a classroom. They came from the relationships you built, the chances you allowed yourself to take, and even the really crappy decisions you decided to make at 3 a.m. after a few too many vodka tonics. And don't get pigeon-holed by the mindset that grades are everything. They're not. In ten years you won't remember if you got an A or a B on that midterm. But you will remember the time you went skinny dipping in your apartment pool or the time you went to 90s Night and belted Celine Dion at the top of your lungs.

5. Always keep some aspirin handy. And remember, it's the sugary drinks that give you the truly awful hangovers.

Kristen @ The Chronicles of Dutch said...

Genius list, Morg. You're so thoughtful.

Being selfish is a great one. No other time in your life will you get the opportunity to do pretty much exactly what you want, when you want.

Appreciating the experience, being present as Oprah, would say is so important. You don't realize the gift you have until it's too late.
Love you!!

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