Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Requesting an A&E Intervention

As my husband will tell you I'm a TV-aholic.  I'm not ashamed to admit it.  I love me some TV.  And the trashier the better.  Reality TV is literally aimed right at me.  Storage Wars? Have you seen this?! This should have no appeal to me whatsoever. I'm not burly, nor do I wear old t-shirts with the sleeves ripped off.  I don't like to touch dirty things and all those things in boxes look dirty to me.  But OMG! These feisty weirdos battling it out over storage lockers pulls me in every time.  I just saw where they are doing Storage Wars Texas.  I live in Texas so I can only imagine the level of awesome in store.  And American Pickers - I want to gobble Frank and Mike up with a spoon! And I want to tag along in their weird little Euro van.

I cry at A&E's Intervention  EVERY. TIME.  I try to guess at the beginning of the show if the focus of the intervention will accept the help and stay clean or refuse. Its my little game to make it less soul-crushing for me.  I'm usually wrong and end up sad and depressed.  Hoarders used to be DVR'd religiously but after the first season the hoarding became so grotesque (I know they have a mental problem but still...) and my gag reflex is just too sensitive that I had to give it up.  But don't worry...

My newest drug of choice is the OWN network.  Not just any one show but an entire network! Manna from Heaven!

Granted, the early days of OWN were a struggle.  There was a lot of channel surfing.  Some "What the HELL was she thinking?" And a ton of "Why can't she just do her show for another 25 years? It doesn't look that hard." I'm fairly certain that the network bigwigs forgot that you need actual TV shows if you are going to run a TV network.   

Then BAM! It just got so freaking good.  Lisa Ling is so my girl crush and her "Our America" show...A-MAZING.   Did you see the average American family doing Internet porn? I had no idea this happened outside of the Bunny Ranch!  

The big guns came out though when the O got back on TV.  THANK GOD.  She did this amazing month long series, one show a night,  entitled Life Class.  I was on maternity leave at the time and I'd DVR the episode and then watch it the next day.  Pretty much anytime I had a conversation that didn't center around the baby's poop schedule I was trying to showcase what I learned in Oprah's Life Class.  Like she could somehow see me and grade me on what I learned.  If I hadn't had a baby screaming in my ear I would have taken notes - that is how crazy good it was! (Side note: I didn't say I wasn't weird.)

And finally the show they've been advertising for 2 months premiered on Sunday.  Oprah's Next Chapter is her one-on-one in someones home just being all Oprah-y.  I was salivating as 9:00pm drew nearer.  And it was awesome sauce.  It's Oprah at her best - talking to people all homey and comforting in one breath and the next she's all new-age guru.   I nearly wet myself.  I had no idea the pull she had on me.  She's my meth.

I consider it a blessing and probably a pivotal element in what makes our marriage work that my hubs doesn't really care for TV because clearly I have a problem. 


SisterMerryHellish said...

Thank Morgan Freeman I've been able to resist getting cable TV again. I watch enough with just 5 channels! Any more and I'd be dirtier than a hoarder when they cut me out of my house!

Kristen said...

HA!!! You are a better woman than me, my friend!

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