Thursday, June 7, 2012

Marriage: Just Hire the Experts


Our house is truly a joint effort.  My husband and I both do dishes and change diapers.  We take turns making dinner while the other one feeds the miniature She Devil (mess with her apple sauce and there will be hell to pay.)  
I'd say we’re pretty much 50-50... unless you count the Boy Jobs and the Girl Jobs. 
Growing up, I was one of four kids, the oldest and only girl.  My dad and my brothers did a lot of the yard work (OK, all of it), took out the garbage, did the plumbing/electrical odd jobs, put up outside holiday decorations, and of course, tended to the cars.  The boys also had to help in the house.  I mainly had to help in the house.  
Before you get all judge-y, I also had jobs outside the house and spent a lot of time being generally pretty awesome.  Being awesome requires lots of time and effort, y’all.   
Now that I’m married, it's funny because I automatically assume that all jobs outside are Boy Jobs, aka Mark jobs.  Some inside jobs, but not all, are Girl Jobs, aka Kristen jobs.  
For example, he'll say We really need to re-caulk the drive way.  Immediately, I think Thank God I don’t have to do that! And he never thinks it’s funny when I say Be sure to wear sunscreen! Enjoy!  
Queue the discussion about how both of our names are on the deed and 'outside' does not equal Mark.    
By the way, I don’t even know if caulking your driveway is a thing.  I just made it up. 
Also, I get the whole We really need to organize the garage speech.  A lot.  But I don’t like the garage.  At all.  It’s really hot in there.  Like gross hot.  That 'everything is bigger in Texas' line, well, it’s completely true in the bug department.  We’re talking geckos, anacondas, spiders, baby velociraptors and not so baby cockroaches.  Granted, we exterminate on the regular (to the point that I’ve invited Ray of Terminix to dinner) but still.  Ick x infinity. 
It's not that I think I'm too good to organize the garage or caulk the driveway it just doesn't occur to me to go out and do it.   I'm not very hands-on in that way.  I'm flipping awesome at laundry and my dish washer loading skills are top notch.  He's pretty great at garbage and putting that plunger/ball/hook thing in the toilet tank so it flushes.   
So, compromise.    That's the ticket.   
Also, now we just hire the experts.  Life is much easier when you don't have to caulk the driveway or mow the lawn.  
  

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