I’m a planner. I relish planning to the extent that when I think about getting to make lists my mouth waters. (I KNOW! So weird, right?!) For example, I’m planning Ella’s first birthday, which is in SEPTEMBER.
Planning inevitably leads to having a schedule and if I’m on schedule then all is right with the world. My schedule though can, more often than not, be arbitrary and may not always be communicated to the others in my life. This leads to problems. There have been on occasion (once or twice or 14 million…) where I have blown up, seemingly out of nowhere, because we did not adhere to the “in my head” timeline.
When you said we you needed to drop off the dry cleaning I took that to mean we’d have to eat lunch first and then drop off the dry cleaning because I ate breakfast at 9:15 and you know I can’t go more than 2 hours without food and if we eat lunch then that means we have to leave the house by 10:30 or else we can’t drive to Corelli’s (b/c that is where I planned on going IN MY MIND) and be done by Noon in order to get to the dry cleaners. AND it is very clearly 10:45 and we are OFF THE FREAKIN’ SCHEDULE!
Those conversations never goes well.
So now, enter Baby. She also likes schedules (thank you, Jesus!). She enjoys sleep (again, thank you, Jesus!). But there isn’t enough time in the evening to get everything we need to get done for ourselves (for instance, pick up a few quick groceries, go workout, pick up prescriptions etc.) and feed her, bathe her and put her to bed before she blows up like a little firecracker out of sheer exhaustion.
The hubs feels that her going to bed later is not a big deal. I feel tremendous guilt – she’s not getting enough sleep, her pattern is going to be all messed up, she won’t nap properly for her caregivers tomorrow, then her eating schedule will be all messed up. The hamster wheel in my brain never stops spinning on the What Ifs.
I’m not sure if this schedule thing is just in my head or if we really need to be strict getting her to bed on time. Screw working out (which is not too hard to give up)! I know everyone with kids goes through this and everyone without kids has time management issues. So please tell me if I’m being crazy or not. And please give me some suggestions!
And you have a deadline but it’s in my head and I won’t tell you until you miss it at which point you’ll see me explode with rage.
1 day ago