I had plans to write about our Memorial Day weekend today but something else is weighing on my heart so I think I’ll change course.
I woke up today wanting to be someone else. I have a little case of the jealousies. Ok, a big case.
I look all around me and see all of these successful people, doing great things, doing what they love, getting promotions, being who they set out to be. I want to be those people.
I have these big goals and I want to go from point A to point Z. RIGHT NOW. Pleaseandthankyou.
I feel like I’m behind and I’ll never get to where I need to be. The road is too long, the mountains too high, the roadblocks too insurmountable.
Part of me feels like it’s too much work. This isn’t so bad, is it? Why not be happy here? But I know I can’t be happy here. I want more. I am more.
Regret is not something I want to live with. And quitting is not a trait I want my daughter to see. Quitters never prosper, right? Or is that cheaters? I can never remember. I’m so bad with clichés.
So, while my footsteps feel heavy, I’ll keep trudging along. (Also, the apple pie I ate last night probably isn't helping.)
Today is about realizing your path is not my path and being grateful for the blessings bestowed upon me. God has been good. So, so good. I know He has a plan.
You know those GPS systems installed in cars? We call ours Jane. Shes British. I have a tendency to ignore her, to my own detriment, of course. I think I know better than Jane. And then, I'm stuck behind a 4 car pile up for hours. I probably need to give up my ideas about where I need to go & how to get there and maybe I'll hit Point Z before I know it.
I need to trust in His plan. I need to have faith. I need to rely on my Navigator.
So if you see me today and my eyes look a little green just know I’m working on it.
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Surfing Sunday 5.02
3 years ago
4 comments:
Take comfort in the fact the grass is *always* greener from the other side -- those people who look so successful may really want other things/have other definitions of success.
You're so right! Success is different for everyone.
Kristen,
Sometimes we need to be able to look back to see how far we have come. Remember that it isn't the "job" that makes you the kind of person you want to be, it is the internal person that makes the difference. If I had thought 25 years ago that I would spend my days around children (200) all under the age of 5, I would have probably pulled out what little hair I have. And now I wouldn't trade one minute of the last 25 years. Do I have a "career" - not the kind that other people seemed to think a career is, but I know for a fact that I have made a difference in the life of a few people and that my dear has made all the difference.
Being successful is not always a job promotion, a raise, or even being noticed. It is how you live the life you have and now how you raise your daughter.
In my eyes you are more than successful, you are beautiful, smart, funny, kind, loving, giving, a wonderful daughter, wife, mother and friend. And that is where your riches and success can be found.
Your words hit home. Thank you! I so appreciate your words of wisdom and your thoughtfulness. I needed to hear it today :)
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