Throw Out The Cell Phone & Grab The Croissants

No. I’m serious. My cell phone just LIT up like it was calling someone but I didn’t touch it.

I promise you, your cell phone did NOT just turn on by itself. Did you get a text?

Oh… I just got a text. I’m just saying these Apple products are eerily smart these days.

OHMYGAWD. WHY IS THE TV BLINKING?!

It’s powering on. Please stop screaming.

Did the toaster just unplug itself?

No, I just unplugged the toaster. Jeesshh. I’ve never letting you read another sci-fi book ever again.

If you have read the book Robopocalypse you would be having these same conversations with your husband. Unless, of course, you are saner than I, which I know some of you so let’s not kid ourselves, ok.

Let me just state for the record that I am in no way a science fiction fan. If a book starts out “on planet Rom-a-Long-A –Ding-Dong…” I’m not interested. Call me a genre-ist. My husband, however, pleaded with me to read this book.

It’s a FASCINATING take on how deeply intertwined the human existence is with that of machines.

Ok, well, he didn’t say it exactly like that, mainly because my husband isn’t a tool, but he did suck me in with his “this book is sooo good” and “I can’t put it down.”

OK. Fine, Mark. I’ll read your stupid book.

AND OMG y’all. I couldn’t put this dumb science fiction book down.

It’s a take on what happens when the computers and machines become smarter than the humans (which seeing some of us in action shouldn’t be too difficult). In order to stop the humans from sabotaging the Earth (which sounds so weirdly sci-fi I still can’t believe I read this one) the machines rise up and eradicate civilization (total bummer). Then, of course, there is a small band of resourceful humans who serve as the revolutionaries and blah blah blah. I will let you read it or just email me and I’ll tell you the ending.

After finishing the book I was thisclose to coming up with a Robopocalypse Survival Guide. I didn’t get too far, mainly because I’m lazy and not a crazy Prepper. (Thank you National Geographic Channel for introducing us to the nut jobs who will outlive us all should the unthinkable happen).

This is the basic outline of my plan: Run. Oh, and bring lots of those little chocolate croissants. Those are my fav.

I’m going to be so screwed when my toaster unplugs itself.